As the flight left Oman, heading towards Manila, it was only a matter of time before I was finally going to meet Ashley in person. Instead of feeling scared or anxious... The feeling of excitement was becoming more and more real! But... There was still that lingering feeling of how I was going to be accepted into the country? Why the UK government website didn't state, that you needed to download this app is beyond me. Either way, I wanted to find out a way to make this happen unless... Well... That's the thing I didn't know what could happen! Would they send me back on the next flight to London? Could they accept that I did register on the app and not deport me?
Once coming off the flight, I was then given a helping hand by someone who wheeled me around the airport. Thankfully this person did the app for me and was able to get all the details done. Cue Hallelujah been sung on the airport speakers with a huge beam of light shining behind him Using his phone, he took my details and told me to take a picture of the QR code. Once done, I wouldn't have to worry and I'll be able to enter the country without any worry. Sweet potato fries.... Did that make me feel so much better! And once again, Hallelujah was playing on the Airport speakers! The worry of not been able to see Ashley, been told you can't enter the country... Everything wrong was finally out of my head!
The next thing I did was tell Ashley that I was here but just waiting for my suitcase. Watching on the screen, I was seeing how all the suitcases were coming down with a few going a different direction. Luckily I didn't carry anything to cause issues so I was fine. Still, my suitcase did take a while to get to me. Once it finally did, the man who was pushing me alone in the wheelchair, was taking me outside. My final text to Ashley was that I was heading outside... Unfortunately... I was outside of the WiFi signal. When I realised that the text didn't go through I felt despair again, thinking... What if she leaves me here thinking this was a hoax of me saying I was here. Before Robin could say Holy Signal Issues Batman, I ask the guy can he please text or call her to let her know I'm here! Panicking is probably the best word for this since he could easily say no and if he did... Well let's just say there be this huge hole in the ground that swallowed me up in one go. Picture a tiny bite size thing to eat and gone in someone's mouth... That would be me. Sweating away for his answer in slow motion, he said yes he could!
As the minutes rolled on, I patiently waited for Ashley to turn up. The guy who have been wheeling me saw the car, which is when I noticed, a beautiful lady popping out while coming towards me! Wait... Not a lady, am angel with glowing purple wings behind her back! Holding my stick in my hand, I gave her the biggest hug I could but she had no idea that deep down I was crying inside! Relief is one word for how I felt at that moment, but I prefer to say dreamy instead. We walked towards the car, loading the suitcase and sports carrier bag in the boot. I sat next to Ashley at long last. Finally... Finally!!! The Roc- I mean... I have come home. Yep, home! What some people don't realise is the home doesn't always have to be the place you're born, but where you feel safe. After so long of dreaming about this... It was a reality. Dreams do come true and this was the first step towards it!
One thing I did notice a little different, Ashley's accent. And despite hearing it multiple times... It had an American twang to it. This wasn't a bad thing, but made me enjoy listening to her voice more. How strange is it though, you hear someone's voice over the phone for so long, but then in person... It's a bit different! Maybe she felt I was taller than what she saw on camera or maybe more chubby... I was just happy to be there.
This is an alternative version of the song "Yakap tayo, mahal ko!" Hope you enjoy it!
Life, as it often does, threw us a curveball recently. Eddie’s return from Manila to London brought with it a weight, a shadow I hadn’t seen before. He was physically present, yet a part of him seemed distant, lost in the echoes of past traumas. As he spoke, the pieces began to fall into place – CPTSD had taken hold, and it felt like we were both caught in a strong undercurrent, pulling us down together as we held on.
My immediate reaction, my old coping mechanism, was to retreat, to recharge on my own. It's how I've always processed things, this need to look for the bright side, to remember the good memories that marked the beginning of “us,” the foundation of our blog, AshleyLoveEddie.
During that initial period, as I poured my emotions into creating the first song, the start of something new (https://youtube.com/shorts/vs-8pVAlzXQ), Eddie wasn't fully present to share that moment of creation. The lyrics speak of finding a new beginning after being broken, of a virtual hug and feeling saved – sentiments that reflected my hopes for our future together.
Then came a moment of realization. My instinct to step back shifted. He needed me. We were in this together, and running wasn't the answer. I sought guidance on how to navigate this, how to heal myself while supporting him on his own journey. It was from this space that another song emerged (https://youtu.be/gkPg4ZlpYqg). This folk-inspired melody is about reconnecting, about finding joy in small things after a period of drifting apart. It perfectly mirrored our struggle and my decision to stay and fight alongside him.
And then, slowly, we began to find our light again. Eddie started to heal, and the creative spark reignited within him. He returned to our blog, sharing his thoughts and feelings with such raw honesty. His latest entry, “Miss Na Kita” on https://ashleyloveeddie.blogspot.com, is a testament to the depth of his emotions. The lyrics he composed on YouTube (https://youtu.be/RG8qmmtudL8?si=YMTYYMl8dap_W6uF).”It’s a powerful declaration of our bond, a reflection of how we found our way back to each other.
This series of events, marked by shadows and illuminated by songs, feels like a significant chapter in our story. It’s a reminder that even in the darkest of times, love and connection can be the guiding lights. And sometimes, the most profound healing happens when we face the storm together, hand in hand, finding our shared rhythm once more.
"The Song We Made" is more than just a song; it's a chapter from our life. This song was born from a journey through a dark period of struggle and healing, a time when our love and resilience were truly tested.
It tells the story of how my partner, Eddie, and I navigated the challenges of CPTSD. When it felt like we were swimming against a strong current, we found our way back to each other and to the light.
When I first wrote the lyrics to this song, it was a case of me missing Ashley. Ashley couldn't understand how to deal with my CPTSD nor have the ability to understand it in full. But it wasn't just her I was missing, it was more me missing us.
Unfortunately, the darkness in me was overwhelming me at night time due to a very traumatic situation I went through nearly my age. More on that in another post later down the line.
I looked deep down inside of myself and the memories I had and remembered the first time we kissed and how much I wanted to keep going!
Having your first kiss with your love one should always be special and I wanted to capture that by taking a picture of us in front of a mirror. Regret to say, the picture is blurry so it isn't the best one to see!
We chose to keep the picture between us and not show our family and friends it! Either way... I miss her. Not been by her... Holding her hand, kissing, hugging... All those little things were missing. Truth is, it will all be worth it knowing that we will see each other again soon!
But no matter how far away I am from her, I always look at my phone and see her face our picture together with me holding her, kissing her forehead. And it's memories like that, that makes you realize that the whole journey is worthwhile.
Don't give up on each other, especially if you know your other half is worth it! There will always be struggles because that's now relationships work! It's to build you up and take on the next challenge! But always remember, support each other and take time for you. If you feel overwhelmed, don't feel bad but try to say it in a gentle way so it doesn't feel bad. As I said, no relationship is easy but working together, you can get through it all.
I still remember the silence. Not the quiet kind you can find in a library or on a still evening, but the silence that lives in a conversation that's lost its rhythm. It’s a quiet that tells you something is gone.
For a while, our relationship felt like two ships passing in the night, even though we were on the phone every day. We were thousands of miles apart, from London to Manila, and it felt like the distance wasn't just physical. A heavy shadow had fallen over things, and we were both struggling to find our way back to the easy, happy "us" we used to be. The laughter was less frequent, the conversations were heavier, and I felt like I was losing my own light while trying to find his.
I wanted to find a way to tell him what I needed, but words felt clumsy. It took a quiet moment of reflection to realize that the answer wasn't in one big solution, but in a series of gentle, daily choices. It was a gentle nudge, a reminder that the strongest bonds are not those that avoid the shadow, but those that can create their own light. A wise friend helped me put my feelings into words, and this is the advice that came from our conversation. It really made me think of us
Greetings, Eddie.
Listen closely, for this is a friendly tip, whispered to you from the universe itself.
You are a soul of great light, though it has been dimmed by the deep space of trauma and the complex constellations of your mind. Ashley’s light is there to guide you, but she is also a star, and her light needs to be fed.
Remember these simple universal truths to keep your orbits aligned:
1. Create a Pocket of Sunlight.
The universe is not all darkness; it is filled with nebulae, galaxies, and the warmth of suns. Ashley knows you are navigating some dark spaces right now, but when all your energy is focused there, her light begins to fade.
The Tip: In your conversations, consciously create a pocket of sunlight. Dedicate a moment each day to something purely happy, something that has no shadow—a shared memory, a joke, or a simple dream for the future.
2. Tune into Her Frequency.
Ashley’s feelings are a unique frequency, a subtle hum in the cosmos. Your wiring may not always be attuned to it, but you have the power to listen.
The Tip: When you sense she is sad, pause and listen. A simple acknowledgment is a powerful cosmic signal. Say, "I hear your sadness," or "It's okay to feel that way." This is a language of pure love, and it tells her she is not alone in the vastness.
3. Align Your Worlds.
Your connection spans oceans and continents, but that makes your shared moments even more sacred. Don't let your calls be just a distant orbit.
The Tip: Be intentional with your time. Plan to watch the same movie, listen to the same song, or simply lie down and talk without any distractions. Create a constellation that is uniquely yours, even from far away.
4. Send Out Your Own Starlight.
Tiny sparks of starlight can travel across light-years. The small gestures are your most powerful energy.
The Tip: A simple "I love you" text, a photo of your smile, or a spontaneous message telling her you are thinking of her—these are the tiny sparks that remind her she is always a bright part of your universe.
5. Tend to Your Own Light.
It is difficult to share light when your own is dimming. Ashley worries that your focus on the darkness will consume you.
The Tip: Take a moment to step away from the stress. Your happiness is a light source for her. When you take care of yourself, you are loving her, too.
Remember, Eddie, the universe is built on connection. The strongest bonds are those that share both light and shadow, but they always remember to create their own brightness.
And then, it happened. The moment I knew we had found our way back to life. It didn't happen in a big dramatic way, but in a quiet, beautiful moment. He simply told me, “Come with me to the park.”
And so we went. He held his phone up on a video call, and as he walked, it felt like I was walking right beside him. We ventured down an eerie path toward a Tree Tower, past bursts of red, purple, and yellow flowers—each a small explosion of hope. We laughed about an imaginary double burger, complete with bacon and onion rings, and we found a tiny dwarf palm that felt like a secret just for us. It was in those moments, in the small details we were creating together across a screen, that the quiet from before was replaced by the familiar sound of our old rhythm.
The truth is, finding your way back isn't a single event. It's a choice you make every single day. It's the decision to create your own light, even when you're in the shadow. It's in the virtual walks, the silly jokes, and the conscious effort to find the beautiful things in a world that can sometimes feel heavy.
If you’re feeling like you’ve lost your groove, remember this: the light is always there. Sometimes, you just have to decide to create it yourself.
This video is my personal journey through the light and shadow of a long-distance relationship. I wrote the lyrics and created this video to explore how to navigate life's challenges and find a way back to happiness. The song is a tribute to the small, everyday choices that reconnect us, from an imaginary burger in a park to simply choosing to find the light again. It's for anyone who has struggled to keep their rhythm but never lost faith in love.
This is the first page of our story, a place where we hope to share our journey with you. We are Ashley and Eddie—a couple connected across continents. I’m writing to you from the vibrant, bustling streets of Manila, and Eddie is living his life in the historic, ever-changing city of London. We are 6,600 miles apart, separated by time zones and an ocean, and yet we are building a life together, one day at a time.
Eddie is also autistic. We want to be open about that from the very beginning because it is an important part of who he is, and it has taught us so much about what it means to truly understand and love another person. This blog is our space to explore what a long-distance relationship looks like when you're navigating different cultures, communication styles, and ways of seeing the world.
How We Found Each Other
It wasn't a movie meet-cute or a chance encounter in a coffee shop. We met online, through a shared interest in a a specific online community, completely unaware that our first few messages would lead us here. Our conversations started simply, about our interests, our days, and our thoughts. We talked for hours, late into my Manila nights and early into his London mornings, quickly realizing that we had a connection that was anything but ordinary. The distance was a reality from day one, but it never felt like a barrier. It was just a fact of our relationship, something we knew we’d have to figure out together.
Building a Bridge
Our lives are different in so many ways. I can see the palm trees outside my window while he's looking out at brick buildings. My days are filled with the noisy, chaotic energy of my city, while his are often meticulously planned. We've had to learn how to communicate in a way that respects and celebrates those differences. For us, that means learning to be clear and direct, finding joy in routines, and understanding that sometimes, a comfortable silence on a video call is more meaningful than a thousand words.
Our blog is an invitation for you to join us on this journey. We’ll be sharing our triumphs, our challenges, the big moments, and the small ones. We hope that our story can offer a little bit of insight, a little bit of hope, and a lot of honesty about what it means to be in a long-distance relationship—and a love that’s as unique as we are.
I wrote the lyrics and created the video for my song, "The Start of Something Real," based on my own love story. It's for anyone who feels like they've given up on love or life. I met my boyfriend on a stormy night when I was feeling lost, and he gave me a "brand new line"—a new perspective and a reason to hope again. This is our story of finding a new beginning when we both thought our stories had already ended, and I hope it inspires you to believe that a new chapter is always possible.
