My boyfriend lives with C-PTSD, and while our connection is strong, the reality of our long-distance relationship means I can't always be there physically during moments of distress. This realization often left me feeling a profound sense of helplessness. How could I offer him a sense of grounding and safety from so far away? How could I remind him of the good times when the present felt overwhelming?
That's when the idea sparked – a way to bridge the physical gap through a shared memory, a moment in time that was unequivocally positive and safe for both of us. I thought back to our trip to Taiwan. It was a truly special time, filled with moments of joy, wonder, and a deep connection that we both cherish. That trip became the foundation of my idea: a personalized video that would serve as his "safe path back" to those feelings.
Crafting this video became a labor of love, a way for me to be present for him even from thousands of miles away. My focus was on recreating the sensory details of our Taiwan adventure, the little things that often evoke the strongest emotions and memories. I wanted him to not just see the trip, but to feel it again.
I carefully selected moments from our time together, focusing on sensory anchors:
The feeling of my hand in yours as we navigated the bustling streets of Ximending. That simple touch, a grounding presence amidst the energy.
The smoky, slightly sweet and salty taste of the Taiwanese sausage we shared from a street vendor. A small culinary delight that brings back the warmth of the evening air.
The awe-inspiring, rapid ascent of the elevator in Taipei 101. That feeling of rising above the city, a moment of shared wonder and excitement, now re-framed as a controlled and fascinating experience.
The gentle rhythm of our footsteps echoing on the smooth concrete as we explored new corners of the city, a quiet soundtrack to our shared journey.
The peaceful, almost ethereal glow of the lanterns we released together in Shifen. Watching our wishes float into the clear blue sky, a symbol of hope and the beauty of letting go. I made sure to include a moment where I smiled at him, a small reminder of the joy of that day – which happened to be my birthday.
I also included scenes from the enchanting "Spirited Away" village (Jiufen), a place that felt almost dreamlike in its beauty and tranquility. I described it in the video as a world where everything feels safe and comforting, a mental sanctuary he could step into whenever he needed.
When the video was complete, I sent it to him with a simple message, one that came straight from my heart:
"Hi love. I was thinking of you and our trip. I put this together as a little reminder of our safe and happy moments in Taiwan. You can always come back to this whenever you need to feel close to me and find a little peace."
My intention was never to erase his C-PTSD or to offer a quick fix. Instead, I wanted to provide him with a tool, a sensory-rich memory he could access whenever he felt overwhelmed, a gentle path back to a time of shared joy and safety. In our long-distance relationship, this video became my way of offering a hug from afar, a reminder that even across the miles, our connection and the safe memories we've created together are always there for him.
Finding ways to support a loved one with C-PTSD, especially from a distance, can feel daunting. But sometimes, the most powerful gestures are the ones rooted in shared positive experiences, carefully crafted to engage the senses and offer a gentle, loving reminder of a safer time. I hope that by sharing my experience, I can inspire others in similar situations to find their own creative ways to offer comfort and hope across the miles.
Ashley
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